As you have probably gathered, I totally disagree with the posters above me.

As far as your bf needing to "understand how this made you feel," he knew dang good and well how this would make you feel. He knew this would hurt you. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing me say that because that is what he is looking for. This is a time to project either complete disinterest, or anger, or contempt, or a lot of things. It's not a time to approach him in a mealy mouthed way. That's not sexy. Project confidence. You can't do that while you are saying, "Gee Honey, I just want to know what you need from me . . . what if I dress more sexy . . . what if I blah, blah, blah." That is you coming to him with your head down and no shred of pride left.

I definitely wouldn't ask him what he meant. Don't give him an opportunity to do a bunch of double-talking.

You do need to feel attractive in his eyes, if you are going to stay with him. It's his job to convince you that he does find you attractive.