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dalila said:
<font color="green">Thanks jinnyann, sister and sabau2.

Finding a way to connect with the little one was a challenge cos I felt like all she did was bring me more and more ugliness. I absolutely hated her for a while, but I had hated myself for a lot longer. I found in comforting her, I felt better, stronger and less vunerable. In rescuing her [in my dreams and flashbacks] I came to care for her. I am not perfect in caring for that part but she really doesn't have any more new 'stuff' to show me and so I feel safer with her.

The teen is definately needy, but neither of us see her as vunerable - she is strong cos she had to be strong, she had to be mom to her little brothers starting when she was all of 11. My therapist keeps saying that I did what I had to do to survive back then, but ..... She was so sexual and so off the wall.
What would I say to her? "Go put some clothes on tramp! You know how to do the stuff that mom gets mad about - why don't you just do it? " and finally, "If you didn't like what was happening to you why didn't you tell someone?!?"

Hmmm, I have a long way to go with this one. </font>

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Yes, you probably do, but hey you had the courage to start!