Yes, I've mentioned the "his" thing vs. "us" and those are the guidelines that must be adhered to - regardless.

It's not so much the SI thing. He knows that if I get completely overwhelmed and do it, he won't be happy about it but that's different than if I do it just for nothing.

The part that has me in turmoil is this group therapy thing and the fact that I have no choice in going or not. It's go or else. I'm sure it must cost something so I have to pay for something that he wants me to go to plus find time away from my job to do this in when I need the hours.

Plus his total disregard for my feelings/thoughts on going to this. And yes, his acceptance of me back hinges on all his guidelines, including this one. These are his things, not the clinics.

On the one hand he says that he took a lot of heat for letting me return, because policy is really permanent discharge................then he turns around and forces me to go somewhere I have no wish to be.

I don't understand it. And I hate the thought that I will end up arguing with him over it - I have a tendency with him from habit to freely express my anger, and now it seems like I can't. I hope I don't slip and let it out.

{{{{{{Angela}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard