It is very difficult. It is very negatively affecting my relationship to a degree at which it may end, and I don't know if I want that or not. One day I'm happy with it (I think), the next day I'm not (maybe?). The person I'm in this tentative relationship with has a really hard time agreeing to give me the time and emotional space I need to figure out my own damn mind and emotions. I've been with this man for going on nine years now, and we have a five year old son. Our relationship hasn't exactly been great, we both have done bad things to one another and he's done some absolutely deplorable things to me that I won't explain more here for fear of triggering someone. Those things have affected me so negatively toward him, even a couple years after the fact, that my hypersexual feelings do not include him. He still refuses to take complete responsibility for those things, claiming that things I have done put him in the mindset where he did those things....

I feel like a confused little girl playing dress-up in mummy's shoes.