Today, T was so kind to me. I've been doing a lot better lately and now that i'm in a healthier place I honestly just don't know how to handle it. I'm so used to not being present that now that I am - its feels overwhelming. So, I self sabotaged, engaging in some unhealthy (mind altering) coping mechanisms. Naturally today, as an after effect, I was overly emotional.

I am not a crier at all. But today, I just kept breaking down crying. I cried. Then, we talked. I cried some more. Then it was time to go and I knew it was time to go, so I shut down. She picked up on this and offered an extended session. I told her I didn't know if I should and then broke down crying some more. Needless to say we stayed there for an extra 30 minutes and she was just so supportive of me. She did question if I needed to go to the hospital, because she was afraid i'd hurt myself unintentionally. But besides that she just sat there, supported me, listened to me and let me cry freely.

I was making what felt like no sense at all (being depressed because nothing is wrong ) and yet she completely validated my confusion and my attempt to navigate this new place I'm in. I'm just so grateful to have such a compassionate and loving T as her. I have no idea what I did on this earth to deserve her.