The self-sabotaging makes sense, though isn't healthy. We're so used to living in turmoil that it feels empty? quiet? w/o it. So we seeks it out. Not because we want it, but because it's familiar. The loss of the turmoil in a sense causes it's own pain and it's own confusion.

It's similar to a diabetic starting medication. The body is used to high sugar levels that it goes into shock when the levels lower to normal. It takes time for the body to get used to "normal". Same with the mind and "normal" emotional levels.