If you and your wife were truly best friends an you both want it back you can get it back. First you will have to go back and fix the trust issue and start from there. Once trust is broken it is very hard to get back, but it can be done. This will have to be done between you two and no out siders. This is going to make things worse. I would suggest continuing couslining, because this is someone that could get you two back on the same boat. But this will only work if you two let it work between you two. And I am with the others on having your own child, if one of you can deal with this in life you should be able to help a child deal with this if it comes to this. I hope this helps you. Praying for Godsend you the right answers,