Clara22, thank you for telling me about PC meant Psychcentral. I thought you meant your PD. Does PD that meant Psychiatrist ?
That is what I thought you was talking about Clara about getting good help from your doctors at the hospital, silly me ....
Well, this is a good reason for all of us to laugh about my mistake

I am not well, the panic attacks are back
Same with my anxiety, I was getting use to feel better with my medications, and being more active, and now all is so difficult.

I am not going out by myself anymore, again I am so afraid of leaving the house, it is ridiculous but so real. Fear is it a powerful emotion. I have to learn over and over again how to face my fears and how to cope with anxiety. It is like a never ending problem isn't it?

I will see my Psychiatrist in 12 days, hopefully she will adjust my medications for good. Yesterday was a very hard day, all was sad, I felt so empty, tired, dizzy from the severity of my anxiety.

I tried everything, exercise, breathing exercise, leave in the present, positive thoughts, nothing work!

I have to admit that there are days like yesterday, days of darkness.

Today, I suppose to try to go out, drive my car and just go out to any place, like the supermarket, or to buy a new jean because I gain about 10 pounds from my new medications side effects. I have to face this horrible feeling, I just want to stay at home, work hard at home but that is not good.

There is a world outside that I can't scape and ignored ... I can't scape from the world outside my home because I care so much about being independent, about getting better, about face my fears that I have to do it!
I will go out, I will drive, and I will come back and tell you if I fainted out of fear or if I made it through. Thank you all for being here,