I feel like you have a pretty good and understanding audience at this forum. If I could suggest one thing it would be for you to challenge your idea of emotions being a weakness. I know exactly what you mean when you say it, and I have personally struggled with it for a very long time, but it isn't true. Sometimes it's easy to act like a sponge and just absorb everything and pretend like it's alright, but It'll come out eventually. It's all about if you want to be the one in control of that or not.