Quote:
Originally Posted by filthylessons
My first piece of advice to you would be to find a new psychiatrist. That's what I did, and they diagnosed me differently than my old doctors. Secondly, I cannot stress the importance of being COMPLETELY HONEST with your psychiatrist. 100%. If you think of something, write it down so you don't forget. If they ask you if you are aggressive or have violent tendencies or anything like that, no matter how ashamed you are you have to tell them. I was in denial for a long time about many of my symptoms, but once I started being totally honest I started getting the treatment I needed.
The cycling is another big red flag for bipolar disorder. Also, being emotionally impervious is not normal. I've been that way before from medication. It made me into a zombie. Funnily enough, it was actually Wellbutrin that made me feel like that. I had energy, I felt pretty good, but all of my creativity and emotional reaction went straight out the window. It's really hard to live with the kind of things that you're going through right now, I know.  |
I've also felt emotionally impervious without Wellbutrin. I didn't feel like a zombie, though. I didn't feel numb per se. I felt like I could crush serpents beneath my feet. Metaphorically. I feel powerful when I get like that. I love it. But I am also a little afraid of it.
I do have to start writing more down. It's just so overwhelming, it just keeps coming and coming and I feel sometimes like I can't keep up with it. And I do need to be more honest. That's really where I've failed, and I can't blame my psychiatrist. I have only 15 minutes with him, and each time I walk in and he asks how I am, I am like a deer in headlights and make small talk, and pretend like everything's status quo. And I believe it. My mind just goes blank.
Thank you so much for the hug, and for understanding.