I've also felt emotionally impervious without Wellbutrin. I didn't feel like a zombie, though. I didn't feel numb per se. I felt like I could crush serpents beneath my feet. Metaphorically. I feel powerful when I get like that. I love it. But I am also a little afraid of it.

I do have to start writing more down. It's just so overwhelming, it just keeps coming and coming and I feel sometimes like I can't keep up with it. And I do need to be more honest. That's really where I've failed, and I can't blame my psychiatrist. I have only 15 minutes with him, and each time I walk in and he asks how I am, I am like a deer in headlights and make small talk, and pretend like everything's status quo. And I believe it. My mind just goes blank.

Thank you so much for the hug, and for understanding.