Hi Mary Alice,

I hope you don't mind if I join the discussion. I care about you too. I am glad you can finally talk to your therapist again, and I'm concerned that you are having so many difficulties already. I guess I am wondering if all the rules, difficult as they seem in so many ways, are really for your benefit as well as his, so that the working relationship between both of you can go better in the long run. I know something like attending the DBT group sounds like a horrid thing at the moment, but I am guessing that since your therapist knows you really well by this point, he would not recommend something like that lightly...nor even insist on it without a lot of consideration. He may think that this will provide the best care for you. And it's hard to know what the clinic insisted on, too, if your working relationship was to continue. Maybe the clinic wanted him to insist you attend the group as another backup to therapy? I don't know.

As hard as it is, I guess I'm wondering....what would happen if you tried the group out and tried to go to it with as open a mind as possible? Maybe some good things could happen there. Maybe you could learn some new coping skills that really *would* be useful. Maybe you could make some new friends, close friends, that would really be a plus right now. And even though attending this group might seem like a drawback at the moment, because it is a commitment you might not otherwise make, there might be some good in it. And plus, by doing so, it will be another thing that will help your therapist feel more comfortable (apparently) with your working relationship, perhaps in knowing that you have even more resources for support, care, education, etc. I know the relationship you have had with him is extremely special but it is important to also have other kinds of support too, I think.

I hope it is okay that I wrote this.....thinking of you and sending hugs (((((Mary Alice)))))

Take care,
ErinBear