More Bluntness... If you really do love your husband and son, Just go IP and get a grip.

IP is not hell on earth, it's a safe place to get daily pdoc attention, med doses can be adjusted quicker.

You staying in a constant state of unwell is far worse than being IP for 5-7 days. No you will not be kept for weeks on end nor months. Its a place to go to be safe and get you on your way to some kinda stability.

Get past your fear, do something that will help you enjoy life. You deserve happiness and not this constant shyt daily.

Plus IP will give your husband and son a break of watching you trying to self destruct daily. I am certain its hell for them to watch you suffer like this.