I can relate to what you're saying about not being present with others. If an emotion does emerge, it's a split second of guilt and then it's gone. I mean, here's someone before me that's trying to convey something of importance to them and I can't connect. I once googled how to handle it. It was recommended to tell yourself to "be here now". I took it a step further. I tell myself to be "be here now. Listen to what she/he has to say."
Take a deep breath and tune in.
Sometimes,it works. Sometimes, it doesn't.
Other times, I deliberately remain tuned out.
Have you tried that?