What is really strange about my husband though is that For all of our marriage till 2 months ago, he was cruel and cold hearted to me but I stuck in there and now that he see's where he was wrong, he is truly trying to show me all the love he can. I think sometimes maybe I am scared to go back to where things were but at the same time I know it is worth a try but no matter how much I love this man, I can not get out fast enough. I wonder sometimes if I am really capable of love because all my life I have "loved" till I got my way and then My feelings shut down. It is awful that I am admiting this but even with my grandma, I worshiped the ground she walked on but when she died, I felt nothing. That really bothers me. I just don't understand myself and I want to go back into therapy but I just have no time with work, kids, and school. Thank you for your note.