thanks guys... (really sorry i can't really reply indepth to anyone right now - just don't have the strength to...)

guess maybe i shall start off pdoc's session with "if you are not going to keep this confidential, then i don't see a point of me telling you." tbh i am still raging over what he did the other time - without me knowing, he called a family member.. which then triggered off a fight at home.

*sigh*