Hey everyone,

First of all, I’m glad to be here! I don’t normally post here so I’m not sure if this is where a topic like this would normally go, but my understanding is that it would probably be alright here. I’ve always been really into psychology, and trying to figure out why people work the way they do, and that’s a little bit why I’m here...

I'd like to talk about a girl named Fiona Apple. Google her name if you don't already know who she is. She’s a famous singer/songwriter with a cult-like following and has released four albums to date, her latest being “The Idler Wheel…” She’s known for writing songs that represent her “inner workings” and stuff like that, and is typically portrayed by the media as a slightly eccentric musical genius who never leaves her house.

She’s stated in the past she struggles from really bad OCD to the point where it’s debilitating and there are some days where she’ll get up and leave her house at three in the morning to pick up a bottle that’s been sitting in the trash for a while because she was the one who threw it out and it’s been on her mind all day to fix it so it’s sitting in the trash just right. She was also raped when she was eleven, and as a result struggled from anorexia. She’s been on a lot of drugs and alcohol, as well.

I’ve put a lot of thought into this, because I feel like she and I are basically the same person… I feel like there’s something innately wrong with both of us that I can’t for the life of me figure out. Something a lot more wrong than simply a problem resulting from too much alcohol and drugs and OCD and anorexia. I haven’t suffered from any of those things except OCD. I feel like there’s an underlying cause for all of this that she never really was made aware of, and that’s why I’m looking into it. She’s ended up in a really dark place. Because she and I are so similar, I’m scared that there’s something that could possibly lead me on a similar downward spiral and result in problems like hers, with drugs and stuff like that. So, basically, my question is, what could be wrong with her that caused all these problems?

The way she socializes and carries herself and thinks are not natural. I know, because I’m very similar to her. It feels unnatural to me, so that’s why I say that. Probably, it’s difficult to realize it unless you’re a trained psychiatrist, but please, listen at least for a while until I’m all done. :P

I was also molested when I was little, and though as far as I can tell there haven’t really been any problems as a result, I sometimes wonder if my problems are a result of this. It doesn’t really seem like it, though… I feel like there’s something more wrong with both her and I that I can’t really figure out. Could it be that we’re just naturally very sensitive (I am a HSP)? Possibly suppressed problems as a result of sexual assault? Asperger’s? Personality disorders? We’re both very dramatic, practically unnatural. I don’t really know how to describe it. Perhaps I just don’t normally see too many other people who are actually like me? (I have a really… unique personality, I suppose you could probably say. Really creative, theatrical, but not practical. I also feel like I don’t really have a personality of my own. I just sort of mold into whoever I’m around and become like them… most people are like whaa? )

Also, there's a really great article that illustrates this whole bizarre abstract concept I'm trying to talk about. If you search "Hiding out with Fiona Apple, Musical Hermit", you'll probably find it.

Sorry the article, and... the whole post for that matter, are so long. You could probably just skim and get a glimpse of what I'm talking about, or at least trying to describe. I really need to get to the bottom of this, as early as I can... Hopefully, I'll figure out what’s up with us…