Thank you so much Christina. I've read some of your posts and you are so kind and caring. Your spirit is so gentle. I was hoping I could address it here. I don't have a therapist as I am terrified of letting people in face to face. I have such a wall up and I don't trust anyone I have to pay for advice. I feel as though I am paying them to care about me. It seems so unnatural. I've been to therapists. I just can't get comfortable. That is not to say that therapy is not effective for those who see one. I'm just an anomaly.