MM I hope that you go to the hospital and that it is helpful for you. Sometimes professionals have it in their heads that psychosis and even MI in general must look a certain way, and if you don't fit exactly into their boxes or you are good at pretending to function (which I believe you've said before?), they don't understand how bad things really are. And when they under react and being unstable is your 'normal' for so long, sometimes we lose track of how bad things are ourselves.

I know that you want the best for your family, and I'm hoping that going inpatient will provide that. You lurch from one crisis to another for a number of complex reasons, but it's time to get off the hamster wheel, assess what's going on (not just with you, but your family too) and work out where to go from here. I know that you're scared of IP and med side effects, and I do understand those concerns, but you and your family deserve to know what stability looks like.

All the best

*Willow*