In my case my mother didn't want me, and my father didn't either. My mother had me because she thought it would save her marriage (it didn't). I remember her pushing me away often as a child. She was neglectful, and my father was horribly abusive so I didn't have anywhere to turn.

I don't remember as a toddler, but I know from relatives that she ignored me. If I was crying I would be locked in a room by myself.

In my case I have grown up trying to be a pleaser. I have the "everything is my fault and I have to fix it" mentality. For the most part at least, but not all the time. I grew up never being angry at them, because it was my fault. Anger is very difficult for me to deal with at all now. I guess it is kind of a narsisstic tendency too. Thinking that everything is your fault = everything is about you.

And shame, I was constantly told I should be ashamed. People or my father did horrible things to me so "You should be ashamed of yourself".

I don't know if this all goes back to infancy, but I guess I have some mother issues.

I hope you still have a long time to be with your t. It does hurt too much when they leave.