My T simply said that it wouldn't be helpful on a particular level. We did hug once, initiated by me, when she was going to be out for a surgery of some kind. I asked if I could give her a Good Wishes hug and she said sure. On a therapeutic level though, it is as likely to interfere with the process and our respective roles: she is not there to fix but to assist my discovery of myself and what I might desire to change. If there is not a clear line between she and I, then I could see myself doing things to please her and not to please myself. I could see myself worrying (more) about displeasing her. I could see myself worrying that she might withhold that hug, or interpret each hug and it's meaning, by comparing and by what the session was like. So, as part of therapy, which it would become, I understand why it would not be helpful.

I once told my T that I wasn't loved, and that it made perfect sense in, some part of my being, that she could "love me well" - that is, love me to make me well. Logical, right? "I need this, you can provide it, and then that empty place will be filled in". Of course, I also knew better, but it was interesting to reveal that thought and it was a nice session. I mention this because it was part of my desire for her to hug and physically comfort me.