hey everyone
i have a problem that has been bothering me for my whole life. rationally, i have no reason to be insecure. i don t look bad, i am smart, i am doing well in life, i travel a lot, i have lots of friends, etc. i get along with myself, i dont hate myself, i think i have a healthy relationship with myself (most of the time at least). but still, i am SO insecure. i am scared what others might think about me so it is really hard for me to make new friends and speak up in a group of new people. i never speak in class even if i am the only one who knows the answer. i ruin every relationship because of my insecurities.
at the moment i am struggling to write an essay, the deadline is tomorrow. many times people have told me i have an exceptional talent for writing. and it paralyzes me. i cannot write a blog, i cannot write in my spare time. i would stare at a blank page thinking nothing i come up with is good enough. if i have to do something i know i am not really good at, it is no problem for me, because i know it won t be perfect anyway. and obviously i know perfection is impossible to acheive. and the essay has to be in english, which is not my first language, but again, as i am supposed to be quite good in english, it is really hard because i cannot help but think that what i had written is rubbish and should have been so much better. if i was to hand it in anonymously, i don t think i d be having this problem. but to know that someone will judge ME personally, based on a skill i am supposed to have.....daunting! i just want to get over this, but i dont know how. any advice would be welcome thank you