I am extremely glad to have this community. The **** hit the fan today...and I stirred the pot to get it boiling. I know it's wrong, dirty, and underhanded...but I took his phone while he was sleeping. He is clever and deletes everything, but I am a bit of a wiz when it comes to computers and in less than 5 minutes I had all the evidence I needed. He is using again, which I knew. I know the signs since I grew up with addicts for parents. I have tried to talk to him about it over the past few weeks, but he stuck to his guns telling me I was crazy and inventing things in my head. When he woke up and discovered his phone missing he knew something was up. I pulled up the deleted content on my computer and asked him to just sit and talk to me about it. He lost it. He threw his phone against the wall, busting both the phone and the wall. He kept telling me that what I had did was wrong and asking why I had to do that. He refused to see that if he was just honest with me then I wouldn't have to do that. I didn't like doing it, but I could not stand to live this lie. I have a very strict zero tolerance policy when it comes to drugs. I do not judge people either way, but I do not want it in my or my children's life. He was satisfied with living his life as a lie, and it has been tearing me apart. I made him leave. It wasn't pretty and he could possibly charge me with abuse because there towards the end I got pretty upset and was trying to get him out the door any way possible. I could not stand to listen to his lies. He was still lying the whole time, saying that he was just buying for someone else and that he wasn't using. I just wanted him gone. I am not a violent person and hitting someone is majorly uncharacteristic of me but I JUST WANTED HIM OUT OF MY HOUSE and away from my children.

To answer questions:

Up.late - yes I can, he does not work and I have supported him for most of the last 3 years. I do not need him. There is not much I could do if I reported his drug use. It is pretty normal around this area and anyone not considered a major dealer gets looked over. I appreciate all of your thoughts and kindness.

Kaliope - I'm sure there were some Pro's at one time, but now they are hidden under all of the lies and hurt. He is a generally nice person and I know he loves me. He just does not know how to be in a healthy relationship. He is still immature in so many ways that you cannot see until he shows his true self. This is my second marriage (I certainly know how to pick them) and I know how to go about it, but he has said he will fight dirty if necessary. I don't want to go through that with my sons.

divine1966 - Thank you for the straight forwardness of your reply. I wish it was that easy.

Rose76 - No, I do not want to leave, I want him to. I know you meant leave as in the relationship, but I do not want him to be able to say that I left him for whatever reason he makes up. I want him to know that he was the one who had to leave because of the choices he made. To answer your question, yes I want out of this relationship.

Christina - there is no actual abuse of the children, he is just mean and it is hard to prove mental abuse. The restraining order I will take care of. Now that he is no longer in the house I have to ensure that he cannot pick up the son that we share from Daycare. That is my biggest concern at this time. He has no legal right over my older son so I can remove his permission's there easy enough. Where we live drug abuse in a more than common occurrence. Unless I was able to report that he was a big time mover and shaker than there is little that reporting his habit would do.

Thank you everyone. I know that this isn't over and I worry about my strength to stay firm on my decision to kick him to the curb. I have made him leave in the past, but he always manages to make promises (he never keeps) and convince me to let him stay. Typing that makes me feel like the sanest crazy person alive.