I'm confused. My T emailed me that my painting was great and fantastic. It was her idea for me to draw or paint her and me with my child part. So I did. When I look at it I feel ashamed, though. At least a part of me feels ashamed, not all of me. But that part is trying to take over and sabotage the good work I'm doing in therapy. She thinks it's pathetic and shameful to need my T that way. I painted a child of about 3, holding adult rainbows hand, and my T holding the child's other hand. My T thinks that's great, but I feel ashamed.

When I'm in the session holding Ts hand, I don't feel ashamed. Visualizing T and I with the child part is okay too. But somehow looking at my graphic representation of that "love" feels yucky. Thinking that T loves me feels weird too. I know she means it in a therapeutic way, but the word scares me. I'm ashamed of feeling and accepting love.

I realize parts work and inner child concepts aren't understood or accepted by everyone. But for those who do it, do you ever feel ashamed? I emailed my feelings to my T and I know we'll talk about it next session, but I needed to get it out.