Gosh, you've really been through a lot. I'm so sorry for your losses. It does take a long time.

Please take extra good care of yourself at this time. Stay in counseling if you can. 5 years ago I lost my grandma, favorite aunt and mom in 6 months' time and it put me into my first and only (so far -- knock on wood) major depressive episode. In light of your being fairly isolated without much support, I very definitely recommend staying connected with a therapist.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Okie