Hello bryanblade, welcome to Psych Central.

I think it is good to have an enquiring mind as long as you are not ruminating in a negative way on things. Putting everyone else above yourself can feel good to an extent but you do deserve to be happy just as anyone else. If you are constantly helping others, then you also need to do good self-care and look after yourself otherwise you won't be any good for anybody.

It's hard to tell online but you do sound a little down, maybe you would like to try these online quizzes Psychological Tests and Quizzes to get more of an idea of what is going on with you and you can try the The Sanity Score - Test Your Mental Wellness You sound like a lovely sensitive person to me.