Admitting it is the first step I agree but meth addiction is a monster. When your high all you seem to think about is going straight. Your mind goes crazy making up theses fantasy situations. Your consumed by chasing the next high because you don't wanna face the withdrawal, we as users or past users know as eating and sleeping for days which can lead to depression. Once you take that first hit it's like your life is over. I too struggle with meth addiction and it consumes me and my every day life. I got clean for a year because I got pregnant But while I was sober I was so unmotivated, and uncreative. It's like I was miserable. Once your an addict It will be a life long battle to stay sober. My advice, would be this. Seriously, know your triggers. If you were able to stay sober over a year you definitely have the fight in you. If you know your triggers you have It in you to create change and avoid these. Write them down, put reminders everywhere with sticky notes, anything to remind you of what triggers you and all you have to lose by getting back into a vicious cycle. It was so hard cause anything can trigger a relapse and I mean anything. For me it is mainly smell. Or if I visit a certain part of town it would immediately make my mind think of smoking with my friends and then the vicious craving will consume you. I relapsed again as well and I feel as though I've lost my will. Your a strong person and I give you so much credit for staying sober so long. Don't let your relapse put you down. Continue to fight, because your worth so much more then that. YOU CAN DO IT!!