My dad, who died in 2001, was a very angry, mean alcoholic. He did not accept me as a child for a variety of reasons, but even though I was not overweight as a kid, I was always bigger than the other girls and I always felt fat. As a teenager, I was overweight, but then lost weight due to depression. I would also restrict my food intake and alternately binge. I was able to keep my wieght down by eating once a day.

I am separated from my husband of 25 years, but have not filed yet. I had an affair because my marriage was without physical affection. My husband lost interest in sex and intimacy so I found it outside of my marriage. I know...not ideal. I have broken it off with my affair but I am grieving him and the intimacy we had.

I am trying to figure out how to move forward and make the right decision for myself. However, one thing I keep coming back to is the possibility of not finding another partner. I have always had body issues. I am tall and curvy with a large frame. I am afraid men won't find me attractive, even though I have had men tell me I am beautiful.

Today I am feeling somewhat depressed and my thinking reflects this.

How have others dealt with these feelings? I have a private therapist and also go to a support group grieving separation and divorce.