((((alexanda))))

So much of this thread is familiar to me--neglect, shame....I have no memories of my mother when I was a little girl--none. My earliest memory of her is when I was about 5 or 6. And that is a fleeting one. I found this post to be painful to read...it really resonated.

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one thing that is nice about time between sessions is that i get the chance to think and to come to some kind of a conception of what is going on. in sessions... i feel like i can't think fast enough. don't really understand what is going on.

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I was thinking about this statement because my T says that I try to understand things before I feel them. I thought that was an intuitive comment and that what I often do is avoid feeling the painful emotions that come up. However, I think we must feel in order to integrate the experience. Especially for me, with so few memories, I have to rely on what I feel as my source of information. The body does store these memories and we just have to trust ourselves enough to get to them. So, even though it seems like what's going on in session is too fast, we are feeling and that's okay.

I wrote my T a letter this week too. And I'm now wondering who will bring it up first when I walk in the door next........