hi jinny i don't feel grown up a lot of the time ,what does it mean anyway? when i get low i want to be looked after trouble is there is no one physically to do it ,i get support off friends and this site but i have no real place where i can give my troubles over to apart from my hope of a loving god ,-who never gets back to me!! my role in life has been looking after everyone else.i had a great relationship with my grandad he was a giant of a man but so gentle , i fondly remember him ,as my father was such an --------- and he really took his place, he taught me to be strong ,compassionate and caring i walk in his shadow much love jeff xxxxxxxxx