hey there. i'm thinking that it sounds like what my therapist likes to call 'relational trauma'. sounds like you really love your husband and part of you wants to be intimate with him and emotionally connect with him, but that part of you is terrified of intimacy.

a psychotherapist would be most likely to help you. personally... i'd reccomend someone with a humanistic / psychoanalytic slant, but really, its more important that you find a therapist who you feel some kind of connection too.

the problem doesn't sound stupid at all.

> Fear of intimacy: Character pathology arising out of insecure attachment, particularly Borderline Personality Disorder, may be characterized by clinging and need for the other, but when the other person responds and comes closer, the patient becomes frightened and fends off the closeness. Clinically it is my impression that this fending off is in proportion to the degree of need. The patient is afraid that his or her own need will lead to vulnerability and betrayal. Attachment theory would suggest that the patterns of interaction are modeled in detail on early procedural knowledge of interactions with significant others.