Hi D.O.A.,
i can relate to your feelings of shame. My mom was very shame based and really passed this down to her kids in the way she related to us. Luckily, most people I have encountered in life treat me very well, but it took awhile for me to trust other people. Once I saw that I was actually holding myself back with my shame based thinking, and other people did not see me in a negative way, I was slowly able to come out of my shell. I have to be very careful to listen to how I talk to myself and think about myself so that the negative talk doesn't creep in. I can so easilh slide down again...did it earlier today in a post. I also believe that showing who you are is important in order to form lasting relationships. It can be risky, but it is worth it.