I feel the same way you do after just joining. I'm struggling with the diagnosis and feel like I'm the brink of a mixed episode or something else, and it's helping A LOT to read things here. Gives me hope at least. It's all brand new to me and weird and it's kind of a good thing seeing that wow, okay, lots of other people are dealing with ridiculously similar things I am.. Maybe there is something to this bipolar thing.