I'm lucky my delusions have stayed mild so far in that I never fully lose touch with reality. Just get really, really close. Like I can vacillate between not questioning it at all and having a small doubt about it. Always feels real, though.

I was raised Catholic, and the demons and exorcism stuff kinda wormed itself into my brain. Not always the negative stuff. Once, while I was teen and at this Catholic camp thing, I thought my calling was to be a nun, which couldn't be further from something I'd ever want to do, because I was maybe the reincarnation of Mother Teresa. I didn't know yet. I hadn't done the meditative past life regression thing I'd read about yet, which would totally be 100% against Catholic doctrine, but I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

There is definitely comfort in religion, but it's kind of funny how being mentally ill makes me doubt it all even more, despite falling back on it at times. I just start to wonder if religious figures themselves were having delusions that got out of hand. Still keep a rosary on hand, though, for when I'm not sure if the demons are real again or not. Definitely miss it. Especially when I believed in it hardcore enough to think it'd keep me safe.