Personally I think the going to work and listening to the voice mail and accessing work e-mail is wrong. If you are suspicious, hire a private detective. Let them tell you if anything is going on or not. In your state, you can easily misinterprate voice mails or e-mails because you are expecting the worst. I can tell you this because it happened to me. My girlfriend was a snooper. She would go to my apartment and listen to my answering machine. I caught her doing it several times. She would dig through drawers and closets trying to find "evidence" of infidelity. She found a picture key ring of me and a college girlfriend that was in my old college backpack in the back of my closet and got mad about it. I forgot I even had it. It finally got better and after 10 years of dating we got married. After 2 years of marriage she started again with the snooping. She hired a PI (she doesn't know that I know about it) who found out that I went to work, came straight home, and bowled once a week on Tuesday nights. No bars, no strip clubs, no mistresses etc. I didn't have a problem with that if it eased her mind becuse the PI has an open mind and isn't "Expecting" to find something bad.