am too bad in keeping sincere relationships.i never open up to anyone.i have a bunch of friends.i enjoy a lot with them.but,i keep all my personal issues away from them..even from my parents.i hate to cry infront of them.whenever i have a problem,i act perfectly alright infront of others and cry like hell when am alone.i think no one will understand it my way.i trust no one.i have a history of SA during my childhood & teenage.i havent revealed that to anyone yet except my only close friend.i used to tell him everything though it was too difficult for me to talk things out.he used to support me at his best.i got severly attatched to him.i love him more than anyone else.i consider him to be my bro.but,he is much tensed about my clinginess & is avoiding me a lot.he no more attends my call.i feel like he dont love me anymore.he says he do.but i dont feel so.he is too good.i cant imagine life without him.he is the only person i feel to talk.i feel lost.always have thoughts of death. somehow i need his attention..i have a loving family.but,i cant love them the way they do.am tired of acting infront of them.now there is no single person who understands me.am all alone.is there anyway i can get him back?miss him like hell.help please