An interesting topic, KD. I, too, have found that my responses are less and less. I know why, in my case, but when I read your description of what a hero might be on a site like this, my excuse seems, well, rather selfish.

Sometimes, I feel like like I am fighting the notion of having a paradoxical nature - one day I can't make sense of life, the next, I can provide guidance in a logical frame of mind. (??) I feel like a hypocrite.

It is hard, at times, to convince myself that I have both qualities; that being in both states of mind is, in some sense, a blessing (because I have compassion and understanding for people I would probably not otherwise have).

It is even more difficult to constantly fight the negative stereotype of a person with mental illness, even within my own mind. It's like, if I am diagnosed with being "crazy," I ought to be that way 24/7, not this on-and-off thing I have going. It's like an added dimension I have to struggle with. And if this state of mind is not usually acceptable IRL, how much more acceptable is it when I am communicating with potentially thousands of people at one time?

And what about the reverse situation? Am I accepting of advice from others whom I understand to have a mental illness as well? How much credence am I giving to their responses? Sometimes, not much, because as a hypocrite, I have just read a thread where they are not so together, and it makes me second guess their responses and advice as well.

Then there is the potential for negative feedback. It always surprises me how emotionally involved I can get when I submit and/or respond to a thread or post and then have that P.O.V. picked apart. It is tough enough to handle IRL, let alone dealing with, again, potentially hundreds of responses, especially if one considers this place a safe-haven in the truest sense of the word. I have been knocked to the floor a few times, here. The pain just doesn't seem worth it, you know?

However, I have chosen to try to become a part of this community - with all its ups and downs (mine included) - and I, therefore, have a responsibility to participate in it as fully as possible.

I, too, need to try a little harder, because, at the end of the day and after all is said and done, there is ALWAYS some on-line, someone always here willing to try to help, or at the very least, listen. And it is THAT alone, that makes this place worth it.