((( connect.the.stars )))
Try not to give yourself a hard time about this. I do it too and it is a protective measure to guard from getting hurt. It was obviously needed badly at some point and it is a natural reaction so it's not a really bad thing. Being aware of your own reactions means you can make better judgements and even then we sometimes get it wrong. Trust takes time.
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein