I have tried hard to communicate with my husband what things are helpful and those things that aren't but he doesn't remember . He has good points but he is also a source of a lot of pain for me. He hurts me mostly unintentionally but the pain is real. Mostly a lack of understanding but what gets me is how hard and how long I have tried to help him to understand and he doesn't get it and just does it all over again. I hurt a lot right now. Such different people!