Hello. I'm not sure where to post it. English isn't my first language so i'm sorry for mistakes. I have a huge problem getting over someone, like my brain decided he is literally the ONLY person who can make me excited or happy. I've done many terrible things to that person and there is no way he could ever like me again. He doesn't know and won't know, but I get so obsessive about this. It's ruining me. I'm hurting myself checking his stupid instagram and seeing if he followed anyone new. If he does I make up 100 possible scenarios and cry and want to die. I'm not 12, I promise. I'm 19 years old. I know it's not normal and it's not how I reacted to things like this before. It's been like this for 6 months. I don't know how to deal with this... I have BPD, but I'm not violent. I'm very sad. I rarely truly connect with anyone. If you think it sounds normal then I probably didn't explain properly. Does anyone have any practical advice? How to deal with things like this when your mental state is horrible?