I have a definite point in my life that defines what my "normal"/ authentic self is. I did not start to have any bipolar symptoms until I was in my mid-thirties. So before that I feel like I was living what I would call a normal life. Career, parenthood, traveling, family, hobbies, etc... a pretty full life, even if it was not a perfectly happy one in all ways, since my ex-husband was very abusive at times. But I have found that after I was diagnosed with BP almost five years ago, I have had to find a new normal. Now I can only work for short periods of time, most of the time I am pretty debilitated from depressive episodes. So I took a long time to accept that I had to give up on some of my career goals. I used to be a very driven person in terms of work. And I had a pretty decent income. All that went away! The only thing I can say I have been able to continue to do to my satisfaction is to be a parent. Last year I was able to do some traveling though, but it has completely worn me out now!
So that was way too much! Eventually I had to find a new normal/ authentic self. For me it is really important to have someting to call normal, as to distinguish the BP-episodes. And what I have found to work as a standard there, is to look for the things that makes me happy. What in my life is most revarding, most meanigful to me? And then I see that when I am in a depressed state, those things become almost impossible. I try to build my goals for my future around these things. What is rewarding to me... that must be what feels most authentic to me, that must what is the closest to my true self.
And as far as happiness goes, I must say that my definition of happy is to be able to live in a way that is the closest to my true self.