Thanks Supa! I (obviously) made it through the w/e, but I did drink and smoke A lot. In fact it is 10.30am and I am having a beer and smoke while waiting to go inpatient at 3pm. This is clearly out of control. Last night I couldn't sit still and was having suicidal thoughts. With the help of family, boyfriend and a friend (and your guys!!) I made it through.

Saw my pdoc this morning. He said I am in a bad mixed state and want to get me off Prisiq (we have learnt anti-D's are bad for me) and increase my Lamogtrigine and Lithium. If this doesn't settle me in a week it is ECT. I would do anything to make this stop but I really want to avoid ECT as it fried my short-term memory last time. At least I survived until my appointment. That is a victory. As I am going to an unlocked private ward i will be monitored for safely as my agitation is only going to increase once I stop drinking and smoking weed. I am in for a tough week and will surely lean on you guys to help me through.