I think that is a refrain. I would rather not be helped (and I am not talking about you) and not shamed than shamed by someone and have it justified as because they care.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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