How do you deal with these special individuals?

By passive-aggressive, I mean offensive, rude, obnoxious, patronising, and condescending &%&$ers who need a slap. You know the sort, ... they'll stand there smiling at you and be all friendly, despite insulting you, demeaning you, and generally being a royal rectum. Or the sort who offend you and then act the wounded soldier when you rightfully get pissed off, as though you were somehow inappropriate for not just being a welcome mat to their insecurities and their own pent up aggression.