I'm glad you are somewhere safe. I too tried to avoid ECT for as long as possible but ultimately that's what it came Down to. Did it work for you last time? The first time I had it I was able to live treatment free for six years. That's why I finally agreed to it again. Memory loss sucks though. It's embarra to admit that I can't remember how to do report cards at work! Oh well. It worked!

You'll be ok. Take deep breaths when you panic and just think about how worth it it will be in the end!