I am thinking that in your subconscious mind that because this oldest daughter reminds you so much of yourself, she should be ostracized as you were. The subconscious mind is very strange that way sadly. You were trained to feel on a very deep level that something about you was unacceptable and unworthy in your own family. You are doing the same thing to this child that resembles you in so many ways. It is so bad that you can't even be touched by her? That is so sad. You have deep scars from that and you are going to teach her to have those very same scars, do you see that?