Can you get in touch with the woman who helped you bond with your youngest? Or perhaps get a reference from one of your youngest daughter's service providers to someone who helps adults with SPD? I have issues around touch - it's a different context because I don't have kids, but it's very maddening and my cringe reactions make no logical sense.

If you learned to bond once, then you can learn to do it again! It's not too late - she is still young.