I'm reading on the American Chronic Pain Association's site, their "Ten Steps from Patient to Person" and came across this:

"We all have basic rights. Among these are the right to be treated with respect, to say no without guilt, to do less than humanly possible, to make mistakes, and to not need to justify your decisions, with words or pain."

http://www.theacpa.org/people/ten_steps.asp

That struck me as useful to learn for self-esteem issues too.