Hello Pink, sorry your thoughts are upsetting. I've had similar problems but mine center more around OCD. These intrusive thoughts are NOT REAL, but because WE FEAR them; therein lies their power and are hard to shake off. We shouldn't be ashamed or upset, because it's just our minds in overdrive and possibly being triggered at a time when we are anxious or upset. I think it's us sensitive types that have more of a problem with intrusive thoughts. It's only our actions and not our thoughts that can bring about change in our lives. I feel this is a temporary problem for you and will resolve itself in time.