I'm angry again. I try to love my parents, they are both very elderly. But my mom has never been a real mom to me. She can't usually trigger me much anymore, and I'm told the word trigger in therapy but another person told me it does no good. But it is true. She was "depressed", "anxious", etc., but she is so self centered I can't take much more. Sure she has health issues. She always talks about her dang hair (which I cut when she wants me to), but she just finished telling me dad was very sick again, shivering with blankets on, and she friggin laughed about it!! She never cared, she never hugged me, she was never there as a mother. I've done my best to keep my cool for years, because I know I only have so much time left with her. But this made me angry. He was sick 2 times in Dec., and when it gets this bad, the antibiotics don't work anymore. I'm not ready to lose my Dad. He was the only one there for me, when he didn't have to work so hard to keep food on the table. I feel angry. I know I shouldn't.
He is sick and has to go to one of his best friends funeral tonight with her. And she goes on about hair and everything else. Ok, my vent for the day.
I had my mental health worker over and she thought I'm doing better. They all say that when you try another medication. I'm not much better. I have to do something but there isn't any work and my son is a big devotion, since he struggles so much. Talked to the vice principal and at least as long as I keep pushing them to get him through they should take him more seriously, not just another number. At the school meeting they threatened to kick him out in a few years. I'm angry about alot that should have been different.